As the season of goodwill gets underway many of us like to look back on the year slipping away and see how far we have come. We reflect on what has been good about the past year and what has not been so good. It is wonderful when our reflections are positive and make us happy.
If abusive bullying has been part of your year then negativity will dominate and looking back over the year is not on your mind. Instead bullying victims will often feel overwhelmed at the thought of more of the same in the coming months and year(s).
For a young child, looking back on any given year can feel like a century. If they have experienced an onslaught of abusive comments and physical abuse designed to intimidate this will prey on their mind over and over again. It will considerably spoil their enjoyment of life. The younger the child, the larger a portion of their life that year will represent and thus it can easily feel like a century for them in their suffering. Parents and teachers can all too often be in the dark that anything is amiss. It is the responsibility of everyone to be vigilant to detect a child is being bullied. They could be:
Bullying behaviour has many forms but simply put it is harassment. Bullying can be any of the following:
Employing any - or all - of these different approaches repetitively is considered bullying.
Bullies go out of their way to be aggressive, threatening, coercive and intimidating to others. They seek out and repeatedly torment those who are vulnerable. The child bully will do this on a one to one basis but will often draw in supporters and encourage them to conduct similar abuse, effectively “ganging up” on the individual child. They do not need an excuse but will often identify a trivial reason for targeting someone.
The poor child’s confidence and self-esteem will suffer in a one to one scenario but it will plummet faster where they encounter a group of other children targeting them. The longer it goes on unchecked the worse it gets and the long term damage to that child can and does extend throughout their adult life.
Anyone experiencing regular abusive behaviour can:
Sadly, the instances of child suicides following a period of bullying is on the rise. All too often, when it happens it comes as a complete surprise to those close to them. They are then left questioning how they did not see it coming and long term guilt.
It is well known that hormones rage in teenagers going through puberty. Some studies in pubescent children have shown that bullied girls produce lower levels of testosterone whilst bullied boys produce more testosterone as compared with non-bullied girls and boys. This suggests to us that bullied girls can be quieter and subdued whilst bullied boys are more likely to display increased aggression.
The earlier a bullying situation is detected - and stopped - the better the final outcome can be. However, bullying often continues for some considerable time before it comes out into the open and positive action can be taken. This often means considerable damage is done to the individual.
In many situations the bullied child is removed from the environment and the bully or bullies are never really dealt with. The bullied child can then go on to feel it was all their fault and their removal seen as a punishment. It is critical that the child is given the opportunity to talk about their experience. They should also be given tools to help them process what has happened and understand that the bully has got problems themselves and it probably has little or nothing to do with them. Hypnosis and NLP can be effectively employed to clear the emotional trauma that is left following such experiences.
Left to resolve such emotional issues on their own, the bullied child grows to adulthood feeling insecure, fearful, lacking in confidence and self-esteem. It can adversely affect the key choices they make in their family and personal relationships as well as in their professional life. With the right support they can eliminate the negative impact and come to a state of compassion and understanding for other people as well are grow their self-esteem and confidence. This allows them to go forward positively and be sure of who they are in the world.
If you are being bullied or have a child being bullied and would like to find out more about how hypnosis can help improve matters please contact Nicki at firstname.lastname@example.org or call 07568 145151.
Alison Hughes, Director of Quality Assurance and Inclusion, KWEST Multi Academy Trust (far right) with her team of ShineTime trainers
after receiving their certificates from Nicki Williamson (first left) of The Wellbeing People.
The Wellbeing People have had the pleasure of working with KWEST Multi Academy Trust when they invested in ShineTime in order to provide emotional wellbeing support as part of the curriculum in all KWEST schools. We are excited at the success of this new Programme which builds resilience, confidence and self-esteem for children.
ShineTime results speak for themselves with children reporting increased levels of confidence and happiness alongside accelerated exam results due to the fact that the children truly believe they can!
Paul Donkersloot, CEO of KWEST Multi Academy Trust says: "We are delighted with the positive impact that ShineTime has produced for our children. Our confidence in ShineTime has led to a commitment to their Train the Trainer Programme so that we can ensure delivery across all of our schools. It has been inspiring to work with Nicki and benefit from her commitment, passion and expertise."
Nicki Williamson of The Wellbeing People said: "ShineTime can be delivered in schools directly by The Wellbeing People and can reach up to six children across a single Programme. KWEST wanted to ensure they could provide access to the ShineTime techniques across their Academy so engaged in the Train the Trainer Programme. ShineTime is designed for flexible delivery, the tools and techniques benefit every child. It’s been a real pleasure to work with a Multi Academy Trust that truly supports the emotional wellbeing of children."
ShineTime teaches children unique tools and techniques to support them throughout their lives - from dealing with challenging situations such as exams and transition, to spending time understanding their emotions and how to manage them. The Programme helps children to celebrate and realise that they’re ‘perfect, just as they are’. KWEST has invested in ShineTime and ensured at least one member of staff from each of their schools has the training and support to competently deliver the Programme for their children.
If you have any questions or would like to learn more about building resilience and self-confidence in children and our Train the Trainer Programme, contact Nicki at email@example.com or call 07568 145151.
Hypnosis is a well-established complementary therapy capable of changing deep rooted behaviour. It is not a replacement for traditional medical treatments. However, it offers many benefits to emotional health and wellbeing and can work well with other forms of treatment. Repetitive behaviours that become automatic and habitual will often link back to specific triggers and hypnotherapy can identify and eliminate such triggers. The same applies to ingrained phobias. Once you dig deep and identify how they began the thinking behind them can be cleared away and your mind reprogrammed so that they are no longer an issue.
"Mind Monkeys" eat away at your self-esteem and, if left unchecked, over time they can really destroy your confidence and your sense of wellbeing. Hypnotherapy can clear such negative thought patterns from your subconscious mind and reframe your thoughts so they are more positive.
Some people find the whole idea of hypnosis scary and think that somebody will take control of their mind somehow. The truth is that nobody can make anyone do things they do not want to do so there is really no need to worry. You are quite safe. You have to be ready to take action to enable changes in your behaviour and thought processes.
Hypnotherapy is a relaxation therapy at its core. It enables you to accept positive suggestions and you have got to be ready to welcome change to get the best results. Becoming deeply relaxed during hypnosis allows you to reach an enhanced level of awareness where you are open to positive suggestion. However, if you really do not want to change anything you won't. If you don't want to share private information about your life with your therapist then you won't. You remain fully in control and can end the session immediately if you choose to do so.
Being in hypnosis helps you to become more receptive to positive suggestion and allows the elimination of limiting beliefs, ideas and habits which can cause significant life issues. You are not asleep and you remain in control of your reactions at all times. What's not to like? You are deeply relaxed and you get to clear out all those negative responses and conditioning that have built up over time.
You may feel tired following a hypnotherapy session, particularly if this is a new experience. However, you should feel perfectly normal very quickly. Some people, however, may feel that they need an early night and after a good night’s sleep will feel more energised. Over the course of the following days your subconscious mind will continue to absorb and sort the messages and, going forward, changes for the better will happen if you really are ready for change.
Research on hypnotherapy has shown that it holds considerable benefits for most people, regardless of their medical history with perhaps the exception of those suffering with epilepsy or schizophrenia - it is best they seek advice from a qualified medical doctor before embarking on any hypnotherapy sessions as each person will have very individual needs.
Making a good and positive connection with your hypnotherapist is quite important from the outset. You must be happy to trust your therapist to ensure you are able to relax sufficiently and achieve a successful outcome. There are countless positive changes which can be encouraged using hypnosis including improving self-esteem, resilience and confidence, reducing stress levels, eliminating phobias, giving up smoking, pain relief and more. If you commit to hypnosis, and follow advice, significant success can be achieved in just three or four sessions.
You are asked to close your eyes and then adopt a comfortable relaxed pose. This will typically be in a comfortable chair or sofa. It does not matter whether you are lying down or sitting upright as long as you can relax. You are guided through a physical relaxation process followed by a process to relax your mind.
Focus on your hypnotherapist's voice and they guide you through everything. The sound of their voice should also help you to relax.
You will be tuned in to your surroundings and able to zone in on whatever you choose to focus on. This targeted focus allows you to go deep into your mind and help you understand where change needs to happen. It is likely your body will feel heavy as you physically sink down into whatever you are sitting or lying on. An enjoyable feeling of relaxed calm will be felt all around you and stress can be effectively released.
Once you have reached hypnosis, it is possible to begin the suggestion stage where you are receptive to positive messages designed to reshape your subconscious thoughts. These suggestions will rest in your subconscious and impact on your day to day conscious waking hours. These suggestions will often include positive instructions such as ‘your mind is serene and tranquil’. Your therapist will draw on NLP approaches to help you visualise a positive response whenever a negative thought occurs, effectively rewiring your brain so the positive response replaces the negative bad habit.
After your hypnotherapist has made all of the suggestions deemed appropriate to help achieve your goals, your mind will receive and process the messages letting them lie in the subconscious. Then you will be slowly guided out of hypnosis, bringing those positive suggestions with you.
In short hypnotherapy is safe and when applied correctly it can facilitate transformation allowing you to make fantastic and positive changes to your life.
If you have any questions or would like to learn more, contact Nicki at firstname.lastname@example.org or call 07568 145151.
........if you have tried to cope alone; but you don’t need to. ‘Coping’ is best done with support and information – and you deserve both.
There’s no doubt that pressure can be a positive thing – it can fuel creative energy, facilitate fast innovation and keep energy up, up, up. Stress, on the other hand, is potentially a killer – and an insidious, debilitating, harmful assassin. This is no exaggeration and, at last, the subject of mental health is becoming ‘OK’ to discuss as individuals but as importantly, is recognised as being essential to every business. I have specialised in providing supportive sessions for people living with stress, PTSD, anxiety and other restricting issues, for many years now and my message is simple – there are answers, there are solutions and there IS a way forward.
Of course, mental illness – at whatever level and longevity - should never have been a ‘secret’ in the first place and it’s now possible to look forward to a time when individuals, families and businesses are more aware and far more ‘up front’ about mental health issues. For many, that time has already arrived and the people who do something about it for themselves, their loved ones or their employees and colleagues, all deserve a medal.
It isn’t easy, it isn’t done without thought, it isn’t a ‘quick fix’ and that’s why it deserves recognition for the action taken.
From a human point of view, we all want to be healthy in all ways and wish that for our loved ones too. From a business point of view, it makes more sense to support individuals who flag they are having problems and support them through it. Let’s take the Winter Olympics as a way to view this from an ‘ROI’ point of view.
Return On Investment
Imagine you have sponsored, supported and encouraged an athlete for years or even for a couple of seasons; seeing in them the potential to win a medal. Then, they sprain a joint or tear a ligament. Does it mean they are now useless or to be ‘thrown away’ and a replacement found? No, absolutely not.
When an athlete is injured, even more effort is made by physios and specialists, so that athlete can return to their former high level of performance. The sportsperson returns to the Olympian challenges with renewed vigour and complete trust in those who provided support when it was needed most.
The same is true of an employee – their medal may not be on a ribbon around their neck but they do represent a significant investment in time and money. From the cost of recruitment to ongoing training, from the knowledge they have of your clients or services, from the skills they have which bring in business or satisfy your customers, everyone in an organisation – whatever its size – is part of a team. Having to reconstruct that team will be far more costly than providing support to existing members.
For the sake of your business, let alone it being the ‘right thing’ to do, providing your employees – or yourself – with the supporting techniques needed to successfully address mental health issues is common sense. Please call me today for more information about how your business can support employees dealing with mental health issues. Information about my services and techniques are on my website or email me - email@example.com
If there is one word that makes most of us groan, it’s ‘exercise’. Memories of school games afternoons, sideways glances at equipment bought with good intention which are now gathering dust, hangers full of gym wear that probably won’t fit anyway. It could all be a source of depression or guilt but, here’s the thing, exercise doesn’t have to be heart-pounding to make it effective.
Yes, effective cardiovascular workouts and making your body capable of ‘more’ is a good thing but if you haven’t succeeded at this before perhaps now is your time to make changes. As part of my Wellbeing mission, it’s my pleasure to help people to bring exercise into their lives and to enable sports oriented individuals and teams to exceed their goals.
There are many techniques and options that I can offer, depending on your current skill level and in full consideration of any health factors but let’s start with some basics that may take the Ouch out of Exercise.
Walking is known to be an excellent way to improve your wellbeing – it has an amazing ability to get your heart rate raised just enough as well as making your joints feel more free but did you know there is medical evidence to show it produces chemicals in your brain that elevate your mood. Recently it was announced that exercise – which includes walking – can have a positive preventative factor related to the development of Alzheimer’s Disease. You can begin your walking ‘career’ very gently, too, so don’t worry that you need to get out the lycra and two skiing poles from the outset.
Walking can be a gentle way to introduce exercise into your daily routine – even walking rather than driving to your local store counts. Our part of the world is blessed with lovely places to walk and there are few restrictions on where you can wander.
For example, the Sandringham Estate is predominantly flat, and paths are clear and open – plus you can reward yourself with a lovely cup of coffee afterwards. Taking Sandringham as an example, there are two well marked Nature Trails, one 1.5 miles long (2.4km) and the other 2.5 miles long (4km). What better place to start stretching those legs?
Most of us have a rusty bicycle hidden away in the shed or garage, and with a pump up of the tyres and a rub down of the dust, we have our own next step on the exercise front. Bringing back memories of childhood bike rides, this form of exercise boosts memories of the past as well as giving us relatively gentle movement in most muscle groups.
Now, you may be saying to yourself, “That’s all well and good but I can’t get out much because of home responsibilities!”
Okay, let’s take a look at that – if you can’t get out much, how about using your stairs for an instant workout?
And let’s not forget reaching up high – or low - to use dusting as a stretching exercise?
Hoovering and sweeping are two great ways to exercise and have the benefit of a spic and span home into the bargain. And this is for beginners, so just imagine what a gradual build up of exercise could achieve when you know how to put your mind to it.
And that’s the point of this article – exercise is often as much about the mind as the body. I know it can be daunting to tackle something new or return to exercise that you abandoned or rejected for some reason. I can work with you to make exercise something that gives you the zing of energy and a whoosh of achievement.
Call me today to find out how I can help you - 07568 145151.
As a seasoned professional specialising in therapeutic services for adults and children, I am keenly aware that as a society we are in the throes of a worrying epidemic. This epidemic can take many forms and despite the increasing media reports of our health services not being able to keep up with an increasing level of demand, there are still some who believe that ‘Wellbeing’ or ‘Mindfulness’ are just buzz words. This couldn’t be further from the truth and I am making it my Mission to raise awareness of what could be called ‘the potential to destroy ourselves from within’ and promote solutions that are now needed in schools as well as the workplace. The fact is that if we make changes to attitude, perspective and action, the long-term return on the ‘investment’ would be staggering. Imagine, children who don’t go through years of self-destructive behaviour at worst and at best can be the happy, emotionally confident little people they deserve to be. Image, a workforce that is more productive, less likely to job-hop and a massive reduction in sick days.
What concerns me so much is that a vast section of people – of all ages – may not have the pressures that our forebears had in terms of sheer survival, but can still reach a point where life is difficult at best and downright damaging at worst.
To put it in a nutshell, there is an increasing need for support when something is worrying a person to the extent that it is impacting on their life – right now - and with every possibility that the results will debilitate them in years to come in their educational, social, workplace, relationships and family lives. I know there ARE answers and I am determined that my mission to deliver practical solutions that can literally ‘make a difference’ will continue the work that has been proving so successful for clients who use my Practice. Experience has shown me that, whether it is a child who is battling to understand the world they are in or adults who find their world stressful and destructive, solutions exist to turn ‘things’ around.
Let’s look at our society’s most important assets first – our children. How can it be right or remotely acceptable when news programmes report on increases in self-harming, teenage suicide and even primary school children exhibiting extreme stress?
Thankfully, schools and workplaces are increasingly aware that ‘Wellbeing’ is a vital element in everyone’s life and tackling emerging issues at the earliest possible stage can prevent deeper or lasting damage.
For schools, bringing in professionals such as me to work within the school environment can make a visible difference to children who may be suffering – silently or otherwise – due to anxiety or a lack of self-confidence. For example, the schools I work with in Norfolk which have the insight to recognise the need for structured, informal and encouraging intervention when a child is developing issues that need solutions. This doesn’t mean ‘heavy’ sessions of navel gazing; it means establishing an environment in which a child – usually in a small group of fellow pupils – can relearn their responses to external factors, in a casual, fun, but constructed session.
By using a combination of Neuro Linguistic Programming and relaxation techniques, the children learn how to manage their emotional wellbeing – from within. Amazingly, four weekly workshops of just an hour makes a significant difference. It is a miracle I see repeatedly – a child goes from Unwell Being to a youngster who experiences true, self-generating WELLBEING; marvellous!
Just as teaching a child to walk without bumping into furniture prevents harm, well-constructed Wellbeing Groups can salve unseen injury and give the child a path around the problems that make them, frankly, totally miserable. There can be no greater joy than seeing a child change from a negative mind-set to a focused, stronger, more confident person with a positive sense of self.
The ‘hidden’ travails of stress, emotional uncertainty, a lack of confidence and a dozen other potentially harmful feelings can become overwhelming and action is needed. Employers and teachers may suddenly see that those they spend hours a day with are struggling. What better time than now for all of us to embrace Wellbeing as an essential part of being a supportive human being?
I will be publishing more information on how Building Confidence, Improving Self Esteem and Stress Relief can make lives better in future blogs.
If you would like more information on Wellbeing Programmes for children or adults, please contact me.