As the season of goodwill gets underway many of us like to look back on the year slipping away and see how far we have come. We reflect on what has been good about the past year and what has not been so good. It is wonderful when our reflections are positive and make us happy.
If abusive bullying has been part of your year then negativity will dominate and looking back over the year is not on your mind. Instead bullying victims will often feel overwhelmed at the thought of more of the same in the coming months and year(s).
For a young child, looking back on any given year can feel like a century. If they have experienced an onslaught of abusive comments and physical abuse designed to intimidate this will prey on their mind over and over again. It will considerably spoil their enjoyment of life. The younger the child, the larger a portion of their life that year will represent and thus it can easily feel like a century for them in their suffering. Parents and teachers can all too often be in the dark that anything is amiss. It is the responsibility of everyone to be vigilant to detect a child is being bullied. They could be:
Bullying behaviour has many forms but simply put it is harassment. Bullying can be any of the following:
Employing any - or all - of these different approaches repetitively is considered bullying.
Bullies go out of their way to be aggressive, threatening, coercive and intimidating to others. They seek out and repeatedly torment those who are vulnerable. The child bully will do this on a one to one basis but will often draw in supporters and encourage them to conduct similar abuse, effectively “ganging up” on the individual child. They do not need an excuse but will often identify a trivial reason for targeting someone.
The poor child’s confidence and self-esteem will suffer in a one to one scenario but it will plummet faster where they encounter a group of other children targeting them. The longer it goes on unchecked the worse it gets and the long term damage to that child can and does extend throughout their adult life.
Anyone experiencing regular abusive behaviour can:
Sadly, the instances of child suicides following a period of bullying is on the rise. All too often, when it happens it comes as a complete surprise to those close to them. They are then left questioning how they did not see it coming and long term guilt.
It is well known that hormones rage in teenagers going through puberty. Some studies in pubescent children have shown that bullied girls produce lower levels of testosterone whilst bullied boys produce more testosterone as compared with non-bullied girls and boys. This suggests to us that bullied girls can be quieter and subdued whilst bullied boys are more likely to display increased aggression.
The earlier a bullying situation is detected - and stopped - the better the final outcome can be. However, bullying often continues for some considerable time before it comes out into the open and positive action can be taken. This often means considerable damage is done to the individual.
In many situations the bullied child is removed from the environment and the bully or bullies are never really dealt with. The bullied child can then go on to feel it was all their fault and their removal seen as a punishment. It is critical that the child is given the opportunity to talk about their experience. They should also be given tools to help them process what has happened and understand that the bully has got problems themselves and it probably has little or nothing to do with them. Hypnosis and NLP can be effectively employed to clear the emotional trauma that is left following such experiences.
Left to resolve such emotional issues on their own, the bullied child grows to adulthood feeling insecure, fearful, lacking in confidence and self-esteem. It can adversely affect the key choices they make in their family and personal relationships as well as in their professional life. With the right support they can eliminate the negative impact and come to a state of compassion and understanding for other people as well are grow their self-esteem and confidence. This allows them to go forward positively and be sure of who they are in the world.
If you are being bullied or have a child being bullied and would like to find out more about how hypnosis can help improve matters please contact Nicki at firstname.lastname@example.org or call 07568 145151.
Alison Hughes, Director of Quality Assurance and Inclusion, KWEST Multi Academy Trust (far right) with her team of ShineTime trainers
after receiving their certificates from Nicki Williamson (first left) of The Wellbeing People.
The Wellbeing People have had the pleasure of working with KWEST Multi Academy Trust when they invested in ShineTime in order to provide emotional wellbeing support as part of the curriculum in all KWEST schools. We are excited at the success of this new Programme which builds resilience, confidence and self-esteem for children.
ShineTime results speak for themselves with children reporting increased levels of confidence and happiness alongside accelerated exam results due to the fact that the children truly believe they can!
Paul Donkersloot, CEO of KWEST Multi Academy Trust says: "We are delighted with the positive impact that ShineTime has produced for our children. Our confidence in ShineTime has led to a commitment to their Train the Trainer Programme so that we can ensure delivery across all of our schools. It has been inspiring to work with Nicki and benefit from her commitment, passion and expertise."
Nicki Williamson of The Wellbeing People said: "ShineTime can be delivered in schools directly by The Wellbeing People and can reach up to six children across a single Programme. KWEST wanted to ensure they could provide access to the ShineTime techniques across their Academy so engaged in the Train the Trainer Programme. ShineTime is designed for flexible delivery, the tools and techniques benefit every child. It’s been a real pleasure to work with a Multi Academy Trust that truly supports the emotional wellbeing of children."
ShineTime teaches children unique tools and techniques to support them throughout their lives - from dealing with challenging situations such as exams and transition, to spending time understanding their emotions and how to manage them. The Programme helps children to celebrate and realise that they’re ‘perfect, just as they are’. KWEST has invested in ShineTime and ensured at least one member of staff from each of their schools has the training and support to competently deliver the Programme for their children.
If you have any questions or would like to learn more about building resilience and self-confidence in children and our Train the Trainer Programme, contact Nicki at email@example.com or call 07568 145151.
Mental health has for too long been something that was talked about in whispered, quiet tones and something of a taboo. The stigmas associated with these issues has meant emotional traumas are often left buried deeply in the subconscious causing considerable harm to the individual person over the long term.
Over the last century, knowledge and understanding of these issues has improved but the mental health awareness and the required support to encourage change remains thinly spread. It is well known that mental health issues are hugely detrimental to general health and #wellbeing if neglected and in the long term can lead to clinical diagnosis, #self-harm or even suicide. Men are often fighting to live up to the out-dated idea that they must always be strong and not show their #emotions and end up suffering in silence. Our young people are our future and yet they can often be left without effective support during the challenging teenage years sometimes resulting in long term mental health conditions as adults or early suicide statistics. The fallout from suicide and on-going mental health issues adversely affects individuals, friends, families, colleagues, whole communities and businesses.
The World Health Organisation (WHO) confirm that, in 2019, suicide is the second highest cause of death for young people (aged 15 – 29 years old). This makes horrific reading when you consider that suicide is highly preventable. Just think, every 40 seconds someone dies through suicide. This is a situation that everyone has to play a part in resolving if we are to win the war.
Suicide is the very commendable WHO focus for World Mental Health Day this year. Mental Health is something which affects day to day lives 365 days a year, 24 hours a day with no let-up and it must be carried forward beyond a single day of awareness. Putting it to the back of our minds will resolve nothing and not talking about it does not make it go away. Constant reminders and taking action to encourage positive mental health goes a long way to tackling the issues which lead to #suicide. We must also remember that suicide can affect anyone, anywhere and it does not matter what social background you hail from.
The WHO wants us all to consider what each of us can do to encourage greater awareness of mental health issues in your community, organisation, school, family and social circles. This is a very worthwhile endeavour so what can we each do as individuals? Here are some ideas:
The places where we spend much of our day, such as schools and corporate work environments, are best able to help with on-going education around mental health issues including suicide awareness. They can do this by providing ongoing mental health education, training and support across the whole organisation to students, staff and employees in line with HSE requirements. They can ensure there is always someone (appropriately trained) to talk to when individuals are overwhelmed by life and work challenges.
If you have any questions or would like to learn about mental health and wellbeing support, contact Nicki at firstname.lastname@example.org or call 07568 145151.