“Love is all around …” so the renowned Wet Wet Wet song goes.  It is a given that we all need love as a key part of our wellbeing.  It is sad but true that we often forget the greatest love of all is within us rather than around us.  This is surely the heart of all facets of love?  If we don’t love ourselves then how can we love others?  It is nigh on impossible to love others when our inner demons continually sabotage our state of mind and drag us down.

Valentine’s Day is traditionally very much about romantic love.  Are you lucky enough to be truly in love right now?  Are you missing out on love?  Are you just infatuated?  Are you focussed on the love all around and missing the self-love that is crucial to your wellbeing?

Anxiety and Depression Harms Our Ability to Love Ourselves

Anxiety, trauma and the baggage we can often carry through life chips away at our self-esteem and undermines our confidence and mental health.  Left unchecked it grows and grows to a point where you do not feel remotely like yourself.  Nobody wants to feel isolated, insignificant and struggling through life yet all too often we do nothing to stop this negative spiral until we reach rock bottom. Instead, we continue to feel helpless and unable to stop the negative downward slide and feed it some more.  What is more, many suffer this pain in silence.  Soon depression sets in and nothing seems good about our lives any more.  Perspective is lost and eventually everything can feel very dark and hopeless. 

Mental Health Needs Must Be Addressed

If we needed food because we were hungry, we would soon rectify this need.  If we had a bad headache that would not go away, we would take a paracetamol to relieve it – even those resistant to taking medication would succumb if their suffering was bad enough.  The same applies to most of our needs.  It is all part of our sense of self-preservation and ultimate survival.

Strangely we, as a species, often neglect our mental health which is essential to our general health and wellbeing.  In recent decades society has become more understanding and accepting of mental health issues but there is much work still to be done on this.  Most of us can understand that it is a necessity to nurture our mental health by talking, acknowledging and – more importantly - resolving issues as they arise.  Opening our minds sufficiently to seek the help we need does not come easy to some, however.  Mention mental health, depression, anxiety and they feel judged, embarrassed or lacking in themselves.  BUT …. once sufferers decide to seek help with an open mind the relief they feel is tangible.   They feel so much lighter and able to take control of their lives.  Those sitting in judgment can become more enlightened – usually because they become aware of someone close to them suffering with mental health issues. 

Find the Love and Happiness Inside Ourselves

Whitney Houston truly had it right when she sang “I found the greatest love of all inside of me ….”  This is very much the cornerstone of inner peace and happiness and we are all capable of achieving it with the right support.

Finding the right help is critical as it is not a one size fits all remedy.  Different things work for different people.  Resolving anxiety, self-esteem issues, depression and stress issues through hypnosis works for many.  It helps them to clear out the negative memories and feelings within the subconscious mind.  Then it reframes their focus into something so much more positive allowing them to move forward in a very positive way and ready to take on the world again.

If you would like to know more about how hypnotherapy can help improve your wellbeing through improved self-love then please contact Nicki at nicki@thewellbeingpeople.co.uk or call 07568 145151.

We have all experienced good and bad Christmases and New Years too. Hopefully you have been blessed with a good Christmas and New Year to finish 2019 with and are well underway with January 2020.  January is often a month where things can feel flat or the blues can creep in.  Money might be tight following overspending during the festive season, family rows could have been evident over the holiday, cracks in your marriage may have become deeper … the list of things which can bring us down goes on.  We are human and things do affect us, even the time of the year can bring us down simply because it is dark, gloomy and cold (although so far this January has been pretty mild).

Cue 'Blue Monday' (20 January 2020)

There is a trend to have a special day for most things nowadays and Blue Monday is attributed to the third Monday of January to highlight the post-Christmas doldrums, colder and darker evenings and those unwelcome credit card bills from Christmas and January sales overspending.  The timing of Blue Monday has apparently been worked out mathematically by a University Professor using a specific formula and thus the third Monday in January was determined as the most depressing day of the year.  The formula is shown below:

frac{[W + D-d] T^Q}{M N_a}



Time since Christmas=T

Time since failing our New Year’s resolutions=Q

Low motivational levels=M

The feeling of a need to take action=Na.

‘D’ is not defined in the release, nor are units.

We can only wonder why anyone would take the trouble to work this out at all, especially since the blues can strike at any time for all sorts of reasons.  The Winter months ensure we are deprived of sunlight hours owing to shorter days and thus it is easy to identify this period as the gloomy part of the year but narrowing it down to a specific day is another matter.  The cynics among us would probably embrace the suggestion that the whole idea stems from a PR stunt by Sky Travel which you can read about here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Monday_(date)

Tips to Keep Positive

Whatever your thoughts about Blue Monday or even the January Blues, it is clear that many of us need help to beat the blues during this time of year.  Past traumas and negative memories could, however, all too easily be triggered at any time of the year if you are unable to keep your mindset upbeat and positive.  Clearing your mind and reframing your thoughts as part of your daily habits will help to keep you smiling through the gloom.  If you find this a struggle then here are some ideas to distract and help you keep upbeat:

If distracting yourself does not work and the gloom persists then you may benefit from some hypnotherapy.  If you would like to learn more about how hypnotherapy can help you make positive changes to your life please contact Nicki at nicki@thewellbeingpeople.co.uk or call 07568 145151.

As the season of goodwill gets underway many of us like to look back on the year slipping away and see how far we have come.  We reflect on what has been good about the past year and what has not been so good.  It is wonderful when our reflections are positive and make us happy.

If abusive bullying has been part of your year then negativity will dominate and looking back over the year is not on your mind.  Instead bullying victims will often feel overwhelmed at the thought of more of the same in the coming months and year(s). 

For a young child, looking back on any given year can feel like a century.  If they have experienced an onslaught of abusive comments and physical abuse designed to intimidate this will prey on their mind over and over again.  It will considerably spoil their enjoyment of life.  The younger the child, the larger a portion of their life that year will represent and thus it can easily feel like a century for them in their suffering.  Parents and teachers can all too often be in the dark that anything is amiss.  It is the responsibility of everyone to be vigilant to detect a child is being bullied.  They could be:

Types of Bullying

Bullying behaviour has many forms but simply put it is harassment.  Bullying can be any of the following:

Employing any - or all - of these different approaches repetitively is considered bullying.

Effects of Bullying

Bullies go out of their way to be aggressive, threatening, coercive and intimidating to others.  They seek out and repeatedly torment those who are vulnerable.  The child bully will do this on a one to one basis but will often draw in supporters and encourage them to conduct similar abuse, effectively “ganging up” on the individual child.  They do not need an excuse but will often identify a trivial reason for targeting someone.

The poor child’s confidence and self-esteem will suffer in a one to one scenario but it will plummet faster where they encounter a group of other children targeting them.  The longer it goes on unchecked the worse it gets and the long term damage to that child can and does extend throughout their adult life.

Anyone experiencing regular abusive behaviour can:

Sadly, the instances of child suicides following a period of bullying is on the rise.  All too often, when it happens it comes as a complete surprise to those close to them.  They are then left questioning how they did not see it coming and long term guilt.

It is well known that hormones rage in teenagers going through puberty.  Some studies in pubescent children have shown that bullied girls produce lower levels of testosterone whilst bullied boys produce more testosterone as compared with non-bullied girls and boys.  This suggests to us that bullied girls can be quieter and subdued whilst bullied boys are more likely to display increased aggression.

Damage Limitation

The earlier a bullying situation is detected - and stopped - the better the final outcome can be.    However, bullying often continues for some considerable time before it comes out into the open and positive action can be taken.  This often means considerable damage is done to the individual.

In many situations the bullied child is removed from the environment and the bully or bullies are never really dealt with.  The bullied child can then go on to feel it was all their fault and their removal seen as a punishment. It is critical that the child is given the opportunity to talk about their experience.  They should also be given tools to help them process what has happened and understand that the bully has got problems themselves and it probably has little or nothing to do with them.  Hypnosis and NLP can be effectively employed to clear the emotional trauma that is left following such experiences. 

Left to resolve such emotional issues on their own, the bullied child grows to adulthood feeling insecure, fearful, lacking in confidence and self-esteem.  It can adversely affect the key choices they make in their family and personal relationships as well as in their professional life.  With the right support they can eliminate the negative impact and come to a state of compassion and understanding for other people as well are grow their self-esteem and confidence.  This allows them to go forward positively and be sure of who they are in the world.

If you are being bullied or have a child being bullied and would like to find out more about how hypnosis can help improve matters please contact Nicki at nicki@thewellbeingpeople.co.uk or call 07568 145151.

Hypnosis is a well-established complementary therapy capable of changing deep rooted behaviour. It is not a replacement for traditional medical treatments. However, it offers many benefits to emotional health and wellbeing and can work well with other forms of treatment. Repetitive behaviours that become automatic and habitual will often link back to specific triggers and hypnotherapy can identify and eliminate such triggers. The same applies to ingrained phobias. Once you dig deep and identify how they began the thinking behind them can be cleared away and your mind reprogrammed so that they are no longer an issue.

"Mind Monkeys" eat away at your self-esteem and, if left unchecked, over time they can really destroy your confidence and your sense of wellbeing. Hypnotherapy can clear such negative thought patterns from your subconscious mind and reframe your thoughts so they are more positive.

Is Hypnosis Scary? Is it Safe?

Some people find the whole idea of hypnosis scary and think that somebody will take control of their mind somehow. The truth is that nobody can make anyone do things they do not want to do so there is really no need to worry. You are quite safe. You have to be ready to take action to enable changes in your behaviour and thought processes.

Hypnotherapy is a relaxation therapy at its core. It enables you to accept positive suggestions and you have got to be ready to welcome change to get the best results. Becoming deeply relaxed during hypnosis allows you to reach an enhanced level of awareness where you are open to positive suggestion. However, if you really do not want to change anything you won't. If you don't want to share private information about your life with your therapist then you won't. You remain fully in control and can end the session immediately if you choose to do so.

Being in hypnosis helps you to become more receptive to positive suggestion and allows the elimination of limiting beliefs, ideas and habits which can cause significant life issues. You are not asleep and you remain in control of your reactions at all times. What's not to like? You are deeply relaxed and you get to clear out all those negative responses and conditioning that have built up over time.

You may feel tired following a hypnotherapy session, particularly if this is a new experience. However, you should feel perfectly normal very quickly. Some people, however, may feel that they need an early night and after a good night’s sleep will feel more energised. Over the course of the following days your subconscious mind will continue to absorb and sort the messages and, going forward, changes for the better will happen if you really are ready for change.

Research on hypnotherapy has shown that it holds considerable benefits for most people, regardless of their medical history with perhaps the exception of those suffering with epilepsy or schizophrenia - it is best they seek advice from a qualified medical doctor before embarking on any hypnotherapy sessions as each person will have very individual needs.

Connect With Your Hypnotherapist

Making a good and positive connection with your hypnotherapist is quite important from the outset. You must be happy to trust your therapist to ensure you are able to relax sufficiently and achieve a successful outcome. There are countless positive changes which can be encouraged using hypnosis including improving self-esteem, resilience and confidence, reducing stress levels, eliminating phobias, giving up smoking, pain relief and more. If you commit to hypnosis, and follow advice, significant success can be achieved in just three or four sessions.

What Does Hypnosis Feel Like?

You are asked to close your eyes and then adopt a comfortable relaxed pose. This will typically be in a comfortable chair or sofa. It does not matter whether you are lying down or sitting upright as long as you can relax. You are guided through a physical relaxation process followed by a process to relax your mind.

Focus on your hypnotherapist's voice and they guide you through everything. The sound of their voice should also help you to relax.

You will be tuned in to your surroundings and able to zone in on whatever you choose to focus on. This targeted focus allows you to go deep into your mind and help you understand where change needs to happen. It is likely your body will feel heavy as you physically sink down into whatever you are sitting or lying on. An enjoyable feeling of relaxed calm will be felt all around you and stress can be effectively released.

The Power of Hypnotic Suggestion

Once you have reached hypnosis, it is possible to begin the suggestion stage where you are receptive to positive messages designed to reshape your subconscious thoughts. These suggestions will rest in your subconscious and impact on your day to day conscious waking hours. These suggestions will often include positive instructions such as ‘your mind is serene and tranquil’.  Your therapist will draw on NLP approaches to help you visualise a positive response whenever a negative thought occurs, effectively rewiring your brain so the positive response replaces the negative bad habit.

After your hypnotherapist has made all of the suggestions deemed appropriate to help achieve your goals, your mind will receive and process the messages letting them lie in the subconscious. Then you will be slowly guided out of hypnosis, bringing those positive suggestions with you.

In short hypnotherapy is safe and when applied correctly it can facilitate transformation allowing you to make fantastic and positive changes to your life.

If you have any questions or would like to learn more, contact Nicki at nicki@thewellbeingpeople.co.uk or call 07568 145151.

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To book a service or to find out more about we can do for you please get in touch.
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