As the season of goodwill gets underway many of us like to look back on the year slipping away and see how far we have come. We reflect on what has been good about the past year and what has not been so good. It is wonderful when our reflections are positive and make us happy.
If abusive bullying has been part of your year then negativity will dominate and looking back over the year is not on your mind. Instead bullying victims will often feel overwhelmed at the thought of more of the same in the coming months and year(s).
For a young child, looking back on any given year can feel like a century. If they have experienced an onslaught of abusive comments and physical abuse designed to intimidate this will prey on their mind over and over again. It will considerably spoil their enjoyment of life. The younger the child, the larger a portion of their life that year will represent and thus it can easily feel like a century for them in their suffering. Parents and teachers can all too often be in the dark that anything is amiss. It is the responsibility of everyone to be vigilant to detect a child is being bullied. They could be:
Bullying behaviour has many forms but simply put it is harassment. Bullying can be any of the following:
Employing any - or all - of these different approaches repetitively is considered bullying.
Bullies go out of their way to be aggressive, threatening, coercive and intimidating to others. They seek out and repeatedly torment those who are vulnerable. The child bully will do this on a one to one basis but will often draw in supporters and encourage them to conduct similar abuse, effectively “ganging up” on the individual child. They do not need an excuse but will often identify a trivial reason for targeting someone.
The poor child’s confidence and self-esteem will suffer in a one to one scenario but it will plummet faster where they encounter a group of other children targeting them. The longer it goes on unchecked the worse it gets and the long term damage to that child can and does extend throughout their adult life.
Anyone experiencing regular abusive behaviour can:
Sadly, the instances of child suicides following a period of bullying is on the rise. All too often, when it happens it comes as a complete surprise to those close to them. They are then left questioning how they did not see it coming and long term guilt.
It is well known that hormones rage in teenagers going through puberty. Some studies in pubescent children have shown that bullied girls produce lower levels of testosterone whilst bullied boys produce more testosterone as compared with non-bullied girls and boys. This suggests to us that bullied girls can be quieter and subdued whilst bullied boys are more likely to display increased aggression.
The earlier a bullying situation is detected - and stopped - the better the final outcome can be. However, bullying often continues for some considerable time before it comes out into the open and positive action can be taken. This often means considerable damage is done to the individual.
In many situations the bullied child is removed from the environment and the bully or bullies are never really dealt with. The bullied child can then go on to feel it was all their fault and their removal seen as a punishment. It is critical that the child is given the opportunity to talk about their experience. They should also be given tools to help them process what has happened and understand that the bully has got problems themselves and it probably has little or nothing to do with them. Hypnosis and NLP can be effectively employed to clear the emotional trauma that is left following such experiences.
Left to resolve such emotional issues on their own, the bullied child grows to adulthood feeling insecure, fearful, lacking in confidence and self-esteem. It can adversely affect the key choices they make in their family and personal relationships as well as in their professional life. With the right support they can eliminate the negative impact and come to a state of compassion and understanding for other people as well are grow their self-esteem and confidence. This allows them to go forward positively and be sure of who they are in the world.
If you are being bullied or have a child being bullied and would like to find out more about how hypnosis can help improve matters please contact Nicki at firstname.lastname@example.org or call 07568 145151.
Alison Hughes, Director of Quality Assurance and Inclusion, KWEST Multi Academy Trust (far right) with her team of ShineTime trainers
after receiving their certificates from Nicki Williamson (first left) of The Wellbeing People.
The Wellbeing People have had the pleasure of working with KWEST Multi Academy Trust when they invested in ShineTime in order to provide emotional wellbeing support as part of the curriculum in all KWEST schools. We are excited at the success of this new Programme which builds resilience, confidence and self-esteem for children.
ShineTime results speak for themselves with children reporting increased levels of confidence and happiness alongside accelerated exam results due to the fact that the children truly believe they can!
Paul Donkersloot, CEO of KWEST Multi Academy Trust says: "We are delighted with the positive impact that ShineTime has produced for our children. Our confidence in ShineTime has led to a commitment to their Train the Trainer Programme so that we can ensure delivery across all of our schools. It has been inspiring to work with Nicki and benefit from her commitment, passion and expertise."
Nicki Williamson of The Wellbeing People said: "ShineTime can be delivered in schools directly by The Wellbeing People and can reach up to six children across a single Programme. KWEST wanted to ensure they could provide access to the ShineTime techniques across their Academy so engaged in the Train the Trainer Programme. ShineTime is designed for flexible delivery, the tools and techniques benefit every child. It’s been a real pleasure to work with a Multi Academy Trust that truly supports the emotional wellbeing of children."
ShineTime teaches children unique tools and techniques to support them throughout their lives - from dealing with challenging situations such as exams and transition, to spending time understanding their emotions and how to manage them. The Programme helps children to celebrate and realise that they’re ‘perfect, just as they are’. KWEST has invested in ShineTime and ensured at least one member of staff from each of their schools has the training and support to competently deliver the Programme for their children.
If you have any questions or would like to learn more about building resilience and self-confidence in children and our Train the Trainer Programme, contact Nicki at email@example.com or call 07568 145151.
Hypnosis is a well-established complementary therapy capable of changing deep rooted behaviour. It is not a replacement for traditional medical treatments. However, it offers many benefits to emotional health and wellbeing and can work well with other forms of treatment. Repetitive behaviours that become automatic and habitual will often link back to specific triggers and hypnotherapy can identify and eliminate such triggers. The same applies to ingrained phobias. Once you dig deep and identify how they began the thinking behind them can be cleared away and your mind reprogrammed so that they are no longer an issue.
"Mind Monkeys" eat away at your self-esteem and, if left unchecked, over time they can really destroy your confidence and your sense of wellbeing. Hypnotherapy can clear such negative thought patterns from your subconscious mind and reframe your thoughts so they are more positive.
Some people find the whole idea of hypnosis scary and think that somebody will take control of their mind somehow. The truth is that nobody can make anyone do things they do not want to do so there is really no need to worry. You are quite safe. You have to be ready to take action to enable changes in your behaviour and thought processes.
Hypnotherapy is a relaxation therapy at its core. It enables you to accept positive suggestions and you have got to be ready to welcome change to get the best results. Becoming deeply relaxed during hypnosis allows you to reach an enhanced level of awareness where you are open to positive suggestion. However, if you really do not want to change anything you won't. If you don't want to share private information about your life with your therapist then you won't. You remain fully in control and can end the session immediately if you choose to do so.
Being in hypnosis helps you to become more receptive to positive suggestion and allows the elimination of limiting beliefs, ideas and habits which can cause significant life issues. You are not asleep and you remain in control of your reactions at all times. What's not to like? You are deeply relaxed and you get to clear out all those negative responses and conditioning that have built up over time.
You may feel tired following a hypnotherapy session, particularly if this is a new experience. However, you should feel perfectly normal very quickly. Some people, however, may feel that they need an early night and after a good night’s sleep will feel more energised. Over the course of the following days your subconscious mind will continue to absorb and sort the messages and, going forward, changes for the better will happen if you really are ready for change.
Research on hypnotherapy has shown that it holds considerable benefits for most people, regardless of their medical history with perhaps the exception of those suffering with epilepsy or schizophrenia - it is best they seek advice from a qualified medical doctor before embarking on any hypnotherapy sessions as each person will have very individual needs.
Making a good and positive connection with your hypnotherapist is quite important from the outset. You must be happy to trust your therapist to ensure you are able to relax sufficiently and achieve a successful outcome. There are countless positive changes which can be encouraged using hypnosis including improving self-esteem, resilience and confidence, reducing stress levels, eliminating phobias, giving up smoking, pain relief and more. If you commit to hypnosis, and follow advice, significant success can be achieved in just three or four sessions.
You are asked to close your eyes and then adopt a comfortable relaxed pose. This will typically be in a comfortable chair or sofa. It does not matter whether you are lying down or sitting upright as long as you can relax. You are guided through a physical relaxation process followed by a process to relax your mind.
Focus on your hypnotherapist's voice and they guide you through everything. The sound of their voice should also help you to relax.
You will be tuned in to your surroundings and able to zone in on whatever you choose to focus on. This targeted focus allows you to go deep into your mind and help you understand where change needs to happen. It is likely your body will feel heavy as you physically sink down into whatever you are sitting or lying on. An enjoyable feeling of relaxed calm will be felt all around you and stress can be effectively released.
Once you have reached hypnosis, it is possible to begin the suggestion stage where you are receptive to positive messages designed to reshape your subconscious thoughts. These suggestions will rest in your subconscious and impact on your day to day conscious waking hours. These suggestions will often include positive instructions such as ‘your mind is serene and tranquil’. Your therapist will draw on NLP approaches to help you visualise a positive response whenever a negative thought occurs, effectively rewiring your brain so the positive response replaces the negative bad habit.
After your hypnotherapist has made all of the suggestions deemed appropriate to help achieve your goals, your mind will receive and process the messages letting them lie in the subconscious. Then you will be slowly guided out of hypnosis, bringing those positive suggestions with you.
In short hypnotherapy is safe and when applied correctly it can facilitate transformation allowing you to make fantastic and positive changes to your life.
If you have any questions or would like to learn more, contact Nicki at firstname.lastname@example.org or call 07568 145151.
Mental health has for too long been something that was talked about in whispered, quiet tones and something of a taboo. The stigmas associated with these issues has meant emotional traumas are often left buried deeply in the subconscious causing considerable harm to the individual person over the long term.
Over the last century, knowledge and understanding of these issues has improved but the mental health awareness and the required support to encourage change remains thinly spread. It is well known that mental health issues are hugely detrimental to general health and #wellbeing if neglected and in the long term can lead to clinical diagnosis, #self-harm or even suicide. Men are often fighting to live up to the out-dated idea that they must always be strong and not show their #emotions and end up suffering in silence. Our young people are our future and yet they can often be left without effective support during the challenging teenage years sometimes resulting in long term mental health conditions as adults or early suicide statistics. The fallout from suicide and on-going mental health issues adversely affects individuals, friends, families, colleagues, whole communities and businesses.
The World Health Organisation (WHO) confirm that, in 2019, suicide is the second highest cause of death for young people (aged 15 – 29 years old). This makes horrific reading when you consider that suicide is highly preventable. Just think, every 40 seconds someone dies through suicide. This is a situation that everyone has to play a part in resolving if we are to win the war.
Suicide is the very commendable WHO focus for World Mental Health Day this year. Mental Health is something which affects day to day lives 365 days a year, 24 hours a day with no let-up and it must be carried forward beyond a single day of awareness. Putting it to the back of our minds will resolve nothing and not talking about it does not make it go away. Constant reminders and taking action to encourage positive mental health goes a long way to tackling the issues which lead to #suicide. We must also remember that suicide can affect anyone, anywhere and it does not matter what social background you hail from.
The WHO wants us all to consider what each of us can do to encourage greater awareness of mental health issues in your community, organisation, school, family and social circles. This is a very worthwhile endeavour so what can we each do as individuals? Here are some ideas:
The places where we spend much of our day, such as schools and corporate work environments, are best able to help with on-going education around mental health issues including suicide awareness. They can do this by providing ongoing mental health education, training and support across the whole organisation to students, staff and employees in line with HSE requirements. They can ensure there is always someone (appropriately trained) to talk to when individuals are overwhelmed by life and work challenges.
If you have any questions or would like to learn about mental health and wellbeing support, contact Nicki at email@example.com or call 07568 145151.
|When was the last time you felt angry? Anger is an emotion many of us recognise and contend with on a daily basis – someone jumping ahead of us in the queue, being ‘wronged’ by a colleague or family member, usually we will point at another person or event and blame them for the way we feel. But, when this anger becomes deep rooted, it can take over our lives and trigger thoughts and behaviours that are uncharacteristic and at times extremely unpleasant.
What we might not realise is that anger has a negative impact on our bodies too. Your adrenal glands flood your body with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, your heart rate increases, body temperature rises and your blood vessels tighten. Blood is diverted away from your digestive system and into the muscles – ready to fight or flee from the situation. We may begin to visualise our ‘revenge’ – playing out negative images in our mind which prolongs and compounds the feelings.
I have a friend who is very capable and experienced driver, in the past they have had to drive long distances for the work, but their ability to control their levels of anger when they’re behind the wheel is zero. A learner driver taking too long to pull out of a junction, the car in front forgetting to cancel their indicator when leaving a roundabout or even an elderly lady taking longer than a split second to pull away at a green light all trigger anger for him. The learner driver, the driver leaving the roundabout nor the elderly lady are all blissfully going about their days and my friend continue to allow himself to be consumed with anger long into the evening following his drive home. Wouldn’t his evenings be much more pleasant if he just wasn’t angry? There’s a Buddhist saying ‘Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intention of harming another; you’re the one getting burned’. Would life be easier if we could spend less time being angry and more time focussing on feeling good?
If you’re struggling with anger and need support get in touch today!
|Over recent weeks I have written about Anxiety quite a bit. Not because I am scare mongering but because this is a serious issue that impacts negatively on thousands of people every day. It’s also a major cause of sickness absence which can become lengthy. None of this is good for the individual experiencing anxiety and stress but it’s not good for businesses either. According to the Government’s own statistics the amount of time lost in 2016/2017 amounted to 12.5 million days and one third of all sick notes issued by GPs is for mental health issues. This is a modern epidemic and as an employer, knowing what to look out for may make a real difference to your employee and to your business.
So how does stress develop?
Work related stress develops – often slowly and over long periods – when a person is unable to cope with the demands of their role for a variety and mix of reasons. This does not necessarily mean that can’t do their job due to ineptitude but it does often mean they have become overwhelmed. Perhaps the workload has exceeded their capacity but not their capability. A saying that sums it up well is this, “Stress isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of having tried to stay strong for too long.”
What you should be looking out for in your employees – or even yourself!
Stress and anxiety create real and potentially serious physical symptoms such as:-
- Chest pains
- Nausea or vomiting
- Stomach pains
- Trouble sleeping
- Frequent colds or infections
- Nervousness and shaking
- Muscle pain
Also watch out for changes in behaviour or attitude. For example, do you notice a staff member becomes easier to agitate, moody or frustrated than usual. Do they snap back at comments they would have laughed off before, or seem withdrawn or aggressive with others?
As an employer, you have a duty of care, so asking someone if they are OK or need some extra help is OK. All too often, people struggle on hoping to ‘shake it off’ or that something will change, so your concern may be what they need to hear so something can be done before the situation becomes even worse for them – and for you.
Of course, it may be that your business is in a high-pressure industry or service and stress is an inherent part of your world. If that’s the case, you can take a proactive approach to avoid the inevitable difficulties associated with sickness absence for stress or anxiety. Here at The Wellbeing People we specialise in working with individuals but also within teams, departments and companies to address the issues associated with the condition. We can help with bespoke workshops designed around your industry. We can train techniques that enable your employees to stay in control of their own emotional wellbeing as well as making them aware of what to look out for when ‘normal’ levels of stress start to build up to being something serious. We firmly believe in prevention being better than a cure, and in today’s high pressure work place environments this is particularly true.
Our workshops can be held in-house or at a training centre local to you. By working closely with you we provide all the benefits that an effective stress and anxiety awareness workshop brings, without disrupting your business operations.
Like us, you will want your employees to be happy and healthy at work and when a healthy mind is protected by a person’s employer, productivity will be sustainable in the most demanding of workplaces
|We often use the word ‘soul’ – “it’s good for my soul,” or “I put heart and soul into that” and other expressions. Funny thing is that we can substitute another word for soul which sounds the same, means something completely different but still has an amazing power to improve our lives. In fact, we have two of them; the soles of our feet.
Our feet are more than handy lumps of flesh and bone to keep us upright or give us a reason to buy lovely shoes. Our feet are masterpieces of engineering, with nerves and veins plus an electrical system worthy of our personal sonar system. If you don’t believe me, try and recall feeling unsteady as you walked on an infirm surface which appeared normal – what actually happened was your feet did not receive back the ‘sonar echo’ your brain expected so you ‘felt’ wobbly. Amazing, eh?
Now, here’s something even more fantastic. Your feet have reflex areas, a bit like the receptors in your brain, and can impact negatively on your physical well-being. Like any other human condition if something in your body isn’t working properly you will want to find a therapy that helps alleviate symptoms you find unpleasant, uncomfortable or downright painful.
Reflexology is the right therapy for anyone suffering from back, neck and muscle problems, or sleeping difficulties, stress or tension and even digestion issues.
As I say on my website, Reflexology is a great way to give your body an MOT and enjoy some wonderful relaxation at the same time. This is not a cure-all for illness or diseases but as a therapy to improve your physical symptoms this is powerful and proven.
One of The Wellbeing People’s therapists is Mark. Mark has extensive experience in this field and combines Reiki with Reflexology to get the best possible results for you. This method focuses on relaxing the body from within and promotes toxin drainage and a sense of calm, making you feel rejuvenated and full of energy afterwards.
So why does reflexology work?
The principle behind it is that different places on the foot correspond with particular areas of the body. When a trained and skilful reflexology practitioner applies exactly the right pressure on those areas you can be rebalanced, destressed and re-energised which leads to an overall feeling of wellbeing.
What does reflexology feel like?
For a majority of people, it provides a deep sense of relaxation, warmth and a pleasant tingling in the body. Tension is relieved and symptoms reduced, leaving you in a happier state than before.
Does it tickle?
No, it doesn’t – not even for the most ticklish people. Mark uses direct massage and sweeping motions to apply pressure to the reflex areas of your feet. All you need to do is take off your shoes and socks, sit back and enjoy the focused, localised massage to your feet
|Anxiety – a word with just seven letters but with so much distress, harm and restrictions behind its meaning. It’s no wonder people who experience debilitating anxiety feel so restricted by their own thoughts and feelings. Thankfully, there are ways and means to deal with Anxiety through proven techniques and exercises. Solutions are available and my work with people dealing with Anxiety makes me appreciate how courageous they are on a daily basis.
May is Anxiety Awareness Month and as a practitioner who consistently meets and treats people with Anxiety issues, I am adding my voice over the next few weeks to focus on what sounds like a ‘simple’ issue but is, in fact, far from being so. I will give Anxiety a reality that is perhaps missed or misunderstood by those who do not experience it in the same way as those whose lives are made miserable by it.
Of course, a degree of anxiety a is natural thing. It’s what triggers how we subconsciously pause to double check that what we are thinking of doing or saying is ‘safe’ or at least within the boundaries of risk that we are comfortable with. For some of us, it is experienced at a hyper level that can cause real and dramatic physical responses to what may be perceived to be ordinary situations. For example, most of us will leave our homes for work each morning with barely a backward glance; perhaps checking first that the back door is locked and we have all we need with us. For others, just getting out of the house is a major event. In fact, just the thought of walking out of the front door can make some people so afraid, with feelings of dread and physical discomfort that they abandon the idea all together. And when this happens, over and over again, it is understandable that Agoraphobics may stay inside their homes for weeks, months and even years.
The number of causes of Anxiety are many and varied, as is the degree of extremes it can reach. One thing is certain, it can be dealt with, but when you are trapped by fears that self-perpetuate and crushing uncertainties that you know are illogical, taking those first steps amount to a battle in itself.
Although Anxiety is technically a mind-set and mental health issue, the physical impact is equally real. Feelings of anxiety can cause leg pain and even chest pain which gives the impression of a heart attack – the pain is real, and in no way ‘put on’. Palpitations, nausea, vomiting, fainting – the list of physical responses to a panic attack are very real indeed. So, you can see why Anxiety not only restricts a life but can make it utterly miserable and downright painful.
My message today for anyone out there trying to deal with Anxiety – diagnosed or undiagnosed – is this; people like me are able and very willing to help you. Yes, you have to reach out and let a practitioner like me know you need us but believe me when I say, we know what you are going through and we WILL help you.
Whether it is you who are trying to cope with, manage or recover from Anxiety or if you have a loved one who suffers with the many issues that Anxiety brings with it, call me or another professional in your area so the journey to reclaiming a calm, confident life can begin. One step at a time, Anxiety can be beaten and a new, happier horizon reached. My number is 07568 145151 and I am always happy to talk through what your options are and how you can be helped. As the saying goes, “Don’t suffer in silence when there are people close by who can help you.”
|We all know that setting goals – and achieving them - is important. Our personal and professional lives are often firmly framed around specific goals that are important to our roles and ambitions both inside and outside our working hours. However, many of us can find it difficult to set goals for ourselves or even deliver them as part of a team. But there IS a solution for an individual or a whole team of people who are struggling with setting or delivering goals. I can help individuals and teams to create a clear focus, align their plans with personal KPIs and make working to corporate objectives simple and straightforward. AND how to engage and deliver successfully!
Like most games where scoring a goal is the main purpose, the best route to success is having the right coach. That coach would be someone from The Wellbeing People.
Here at The Wellbeing People, we work within businesses and with individuals on a 1:1 basis, to quickly and easily improve how they think and feel about setting or delivering goals. It’s a bit like knowing the ball you need to kick will hit the back of the net each and every time. You can become SO confident and focused that you will genuinely feel you could score a goal with your eyes shut.
So, why do goals, key performance indicators and all that is linked to them make us feel as if we are being asked to build a brick wall with jelly?
It’s not because we’re not capable of setting or following goals, in our hearts we know this. Our minds, however, are playing a different game altogether. What’s more, the aversion to all things goal related may impact on a whole team of people who are responsible for working together to deliver a defined, desired outcome. A work-place project, for example, or changing processes or practices that need attention. The result?
Endless meetings to ‘discuss’ the minute details rather than taking an overview, frequently rescheduled deadlines so more ‘thinking time’ can take place, repeated reviews or working parties. The end result is even more stress for all concerned. Having a plan is how we make ourselves feel organised and in control. But setting and achieving goals, whether it’s for work or in our personal lives, is often easier said than done. In fact, just thinking about setting goals or working out an action plan to deliver goals we have been given can cause genuine stress. That can genuinely, realistically and achievably become a problem of the past – just contact us to find out more.
|Research shows 48% of us are affected by stress at some point in our lives and, for those of us who have experience of how this feels, it's a statistic we could all do without being part of.
At times, stress can be a positive feeling - something that gives us the energy and stamina to complete a task - but when the symptoms and thoughts relating to stress continue long after the task is completed, it's time to take notice and take positive steps towards reducing our stress levels.
It's not only how we think that can effect our stress levels though, the way we eat can have an impact on the way we feel and this workshop combines techniques for both. Jane Rose-Land, Nutritionist with a degree in Nutritional Medicine, shows you how to eat for energy and how to avoid foods that can actually trigger your stress-response.
Your stress levels and sleepless nights could be a thing of the past.
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