Necessity is very much the mother of invention. As such, in times of crisis we are forced to think outside the box and try new things. The Coronavirus outbreak has pushed many out of their comfort zone in countless ways. Those of us who have been slow to put ourselves out there online have realised that now is a good time to embrace new learning. Noticeably many are seeing the crisis as an opportunity to overcome our fear of technology, particularly when it comes to doing a live video online.

I overcame my own fears of live video just like that and now I am comfortable to work with clients online. This means I can help more people than ever, no matter where they may be. So yes, we have all had to adjust and come to terms with where we find ourselves since lockdown began on 23 March. Some of the subjects I touched on in my videos are in this blog which, I hope, will be of help to many of you.

As adults we have to support our own families and friends, try to work where possible but to do this we also need to keep our own thoughts and feelings in check. It is a fact that times of crisis can trigger an increase in stress and anxiety and feelings of not being in control. When we feel like this our thoughts can spiral downward all too easily. Being mindful and checking our thoughts can bring us back on a more positive wavelength. Focusing on things you can control and letting go of the things you cannot is important. Stop those “what if” thoughts, breathe slow and steady and think “calm and relaxed” whilst doing it. Failure to do so is not an option.

Why not take advantage of the slower world we find ourselves in. See the positives; and there reallyl are many.

Connect With Those Dear to Us

It is an ideal opportunity to connect with our close family and friends as well as to catch up with those we never normally have the time to catch up with. For the majority of us this will mean connecting online using video calls as well as sending messages through WhatsApp, Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram etc. For some, it will mean living pretty much 24/7 in their homes for the duration and it could well be their first experiences of living via the virtual world. The challenges found when living so closely together are real but there really are many positives if you look for them.

Be Present and Enjoy Those Moments

The opportunity to fully be present is quite often missed in our typically frantic lives. Now parents and grandparents can fully engage with children, grandchildren. Siblings can connect and catch up. Couples can re-connect and relationships can gain greater depth. Friends we have not talked to for some time can be caught up with. By reaching out and lending support to one another all our relationships will blossom and grow in ways we could not imagine. Out of crisis comes some magical moments and some great self learning.

Adapt, Learn Patience and Listen

We will learn to adapt to our changed lives. Being patient will allow us to stop and listen fully to one another. We can take the time to enjoy our homes and gardens far more than usual. Taking the time to communicate with each other can often prove difficult in the fast paced world in which we live. Now is the time to take stock and be reflective. Time to make positive changes within ourselves and our future lives.

Home Schooling

Having a house full of children clamouring for your time can feel like a pressure. Instead turn home schooling into something fun and engaging. Allocate special time to help your children learn. Show them that you need some time to yourself so you can carry out work tasks whilst they have some time doing solitary tasks or playing together without an adult. This will teach your children that you will make special quality time for them but everyone also needs their own space too for a time.

Watch that Anger

The challenges presented by this lockdown situation can give rise to emotions running high. Anger could well be a huge emotion for many of us right now. Anger at the government, anger at people's behaviour in supermarkets and going outdoors when asked not to. Be careful where your anger goes and try and let it go as it will not serve us in any positive way.

Let Negatives Go By Turning Them into Positives

Work at letting the negative thoughts go by turning them on their head. Whatever you do, don't let those negatives stay with you. Accept that we may feel fearful. Process how you feel. Remind yourself that things are different and it is very normal to have such feelings. Then choose to let those negative feelings go by flipping things round so you can see the positives in the situation. Instead of feeling pressured that you have to home school your children think “how can we make this fun”.

Set Your Mindset Each Morning

Set your mindset each morning so that you start out feeling upbeat and positive.

  1. Make up your mind that it will be a great day.
  2. Close your eyes to help you visualise your day going as well as it can. Picture the sun shining,. Know that everything in the day ahead is going to go smoothly, the children will behave, the work will get done. We will get to the shops and they will have some toilet roll.

If you follow these steps then when things happen during the day to bring you down you will overcome them more easily. Far more easily than if you begin the day thinking your day is going to be rubbish.

Establish a Routine

Lack of motivation and structure will not help you to make the best of your day. Staying in your pajamas and giving in to going with the flow with no set routine is all too easy to do. Instead have a set time to start your day, shower and breakfast or similar morning routine.

There are lots of good things happening out there on line now to keep us engaged, focused as well as physically and mentally healthy. Morning exercise sessions with Joe Wicks, online training courses for all sorts of new skills are just some examples of things you might want to include in your day.

By planning the night before for the next day ahead you will find it far easier to keep focused and experience a positive and successful day. You will be able to create some fantastic memories to look back on when this time is long past.

Acknowledge Your Children's Concerns

Our children need to be listened to and their worries taken on board. They could well be anxious and will have their own unique way of expressing their fears. Keeping control and in the moment ourselves will help our children to keep calm throughout the challenges of lockdown and the general craziness that is life as we know it today.

Limit Access to Coronavirus News

Checking on what is happening with the world is something we need to do to stay in touch. However, it is all too easy to overdose on the never-ending supply of news items online and on the television. It does not take long to feel overwhelmed by it all and the net result is to feed our fears all the more.

To mitigate the negative effects of overexposure to Coronavirus news stick to specific times to dip in and catch the key headlines on the News channels at the end of each day. If you prefer to get news from social media sand other online sources try to visit Facebook and the like no more than a few times a day. Instead, tune in to alternative sources of entertainment which will stimulate your creativity and the fun side of your nature. Share these more positive aspects of your day with your family and friends. It will help them to keep positive too.

If you need to talk to someone about how you are feeling I am happy to offer a complementary 30 minute consultation without obligation simply because your mind matters. Just get in touch with Nicki at nicki@thewellbeingpeople.co.uk or call 07568 145151 if you would like to arrange a no obligation complementary consultation.

As the season of goodwill gets underway many of us like to look back on the year slipping away and see how far we have come.  We reflect on what has been good about the past year and what has not been so good.  It is wonderful when our reflections are positive and make us happy.

If abusive bullying has been part of your year then negativity will dominate and looking back over the year is not on your mind.  Instead bullying victims will often feel overwhelmed at the thought of more of the same in the coming months and year(s). 

For a young child, looking back on any given year can feel like a century.  If they have experienced an onslaught of abusive comments and physical abuse designed to intimidate this will prey on their mind over and over again.  It will considerably spoil their enjoyment of life.  The younger the child, the larger a portion of their life that year will represent and thus it can easily feel like a century for them in their suffering.  Parents and teachers can all too often be in the dark that anything is amiss.  It is the responsibility of everyone to be vigilant to detect a child is being bullied.  They could be:

Types of Bullying

Bullying behaviour has many forms but simply put it is harassment.  Bullying can be any of the following:

Employing any - or all - of these different approaches repetitively is considered bullying.

Effects of Bullying

Bullies go out of their way to be aggressive, threatening, coercive and intimidating to others.  They seek out and repeatedly torment those who are vulnerable.  The child bully will do this on a one to one basis but will often draw in supporters and encourage them to conduct similar abuse, effectively “ganging up” on the individual child.  They do not need an excuse but will often identify a trivial reason for targeting someone.

The poor child’s confidence and self-esteem will suffer in a one to one scenario but it will plummet faster where they encounter a group of other children targeting them.  The longer it goes on unchecked the worse it gets and the long term damage to that child can and does extend throughout their adult life.

Anyone experiencing regular abusive behaviour can:

Sadly, the instances of child suicides following a period of bullying is on the rise.  All too often, when it happens it comes as a complete surprise to those close to them.  They are then left questioning how they did not see it coming and long term guilt.

It is well known that hormones rage in teenagers going through puberty.  Some studies in pubescent children have shown that bullied girls produce lower levels of testosterone whilst bullied boys produce more testosterone as compared with non-bullied girls and boys.  This suggests to us that bullied girls can be quieter and subdued whilst bullied boys are more likely to display increased aggression.

Damage Limitation

The earlier a bullying situation is detected - and stopped - the better the final outcome can be.    However, bullying often continues for some considerable time before it comes out into the open and positive action can be taken.  This often means considerable damage is done to the individual.

In many situations the bullied child is removed from the environment and the bully or bullies are never really dealt with.  The bullied child can then go on to feel it was all their fault and their removal seen as a punishment. It is critical that the child is given the opportunity to talk about their experience.  They should also be given tools to help them process what has happened and understand that the bully has got problems themselves and it probably has little or nothing to do with them.  Hypnosis and NLP can be effectively employed to clear the emotional trauma that is left following such experiences. 

Left to resolve such emotional issues on their own, the bullied child grows to adulthood feeling insecure, fearful, lacking in confidence and self-esteem.  It can adversely affect the key choices they make in their family and personal relationships as well as in their professional life.  With the right support they can eliminate the negative impact and come to a state of compassion and understanding for other people as well are grow their self-esteem and confidence.  This allows them to go forward positively and be sure of who they are in the world.

If you are being bullied or have a child being bullied and would like to find out more about how hypnosis can help improve matters please contact Nicki at nicki@thewellbeingpeople.co.uk or call 07568 145151.

Mental health has for too long been something that was talked about in whispered, quiet tones and something of a taboo.  The stigmas associated with these issues has meant emotional traumas are often left buried deeply in the subconscious causing considerable harm to the individual person over the long term. 

What Can You Do to Raise Mental Health Awareness?

Over the last century, knowledge and understanding of these issues has improved but the mental health awareness and the required support to encourage change remains thinly spread.   It is well known that mental health issues are hugely detrimental to general health and #wellbeing if neglected and in the long term can lead to clinical diagnosis, #self-harm or even suicide.  Men are often fighting to live up to the out-dated idea that they must always be strong and not show their #emotions and end up suffering in silence.  Our young people are our future and yet they can often be left without effective support during the challenging teenage years sometimes resulting in long term mental health conditions as adults or early suicide statistics.   The fallout from suicide and on-going mental health issues adversely affects individuals, friends, families, colleagues, whole communities and businesses.

What Can You Do to Raise Mental Health Awareness?

The World Health Organisation (WHO) confirm that, in 2019, suicide is the second highest cause of death for young people (aged 15 – 29 years old).  This makes horrific reading when you consider that suicide is highly preventable.  Just think, every 40 seconds someone dies through suicide.  This is a situation that everyone has to play a part in resolving if we are to win the war. 

Suicide is the very commendable WHO focus for World Mental Health Day this year.  Mental Health is something which affects day to day lives 365 days a year, 24 hours a day with no let-up and it must be carried forward beyond a single day of awareness.  Putting it to the back of our minds will resolve nothing and not talking about it does not make it go away.  Constant reminders and taking action to encourage positive mental health goes a long way to tackling the issues which lead to #suicide.  We must also remember that suicide can affect anyone, anywhere and it does not matter what social background you hail from.

What Can You Do to Raise Mental Health Awareness?

The WHO wants us all to consider what each of us can do to encourage greater awareness of mental health issues in your community, organisation, school, family and social circles.  This is a very worthwhile endeavour so what can we each do as individuals?  Here are some ideas:

The places where we spend much of our day, such as schools and corporate work environments, are best able to help with on-going education around mental health issues including suicide awareness.  They can do this by providing ongoing mental health education, training and support across the whole organisation to students, staff and employees in line with HSE requirements. They can ensure there is always someone (appropriately trained) to talk to when individuals are overwhelmed by life and work challenges.

If you have any questions or would like to learn about mental health and wellbeing support, contact Nicki at nicki@thewellbeingpeople.co.uk or call 07568 145151.

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